


The thirtieth and the last

by lialin1021



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 05:35:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8132329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lialin1021/pseuds/lialin1021
Summary: Junmyeon is a successful businessman who frequents a certain bar. There’s nothing special about the place except for one person. A bartender who managed to capture his heart completely – Jongdae. Does it seem like a simple love story? Well, life isn't simple at all – especially when the person you're in love with is already taken.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story has a spin-off: [Gameplay](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11382255)

It was a mundane Wednesday evening when a car stopped in front of a high-rise building and a young man got in it. Such an ordinary occurrence that could be seen anywhere near any building in the city where highly-paid businessmen worked. They hired nice cars with capable drivers that would drive them basically anywhere they wanted – and that was usually not home. In most cases those businessmen went to bars or parlours to let off some steam after a long day filled with meetings, meeting and more meetings.  Their drivers then waited for a sign and drove them home, often in quite inebriated state. Yes, that kind of thing happened all around the city every night.  
  
“The same place as every Wednesday, sir?” a driver looked at a well-dressed man in the rear-view mirror and gave him a polite smile.  
  
The addressed man just nodded and closed his eyes as he loosened up in the comfortable, familiar seat. This was the reason why he – unlike most of his colleagues – preferred to have one permanent driver compared to hiring new car with new driver every night. He liked the familiarity and that most of the times he didn’t have to say anything and got to the place he wanted. His driver was an older man – always neat, polite and punctual so there was really no reason to replace him. Another of his assets was that he didn’t try to make small talk and Junmyeon, the man relaxed in the back seat of the car at that moment, appreciated it immensely. After all, his whole day was filled with small talk, whether it was his colleagues or business partners. He hated it. He truly did but he still had to put on a nice, friendly smile and just go with it. It was an unfortunate part of his job.  
  
Junmyeon opened his eyes again after few minutes and looked out of the window. There were still a lot of people in the streets, as expected of the evening city he enjoyed on nights like that one – on nights when he actually didn’t have to stay in his office till ten or attend an obligatory get-togethers with his business partners. Wednesday evenings were his and he could do whatever he wanted to do. And that was the same thing for last five months.  
  
As the car took another turn he realized they were getting close to the destined place. He untied and took of his tie with few effortless moves and put it in his briefcase. Then he continued to take off the jacket, unbutton two buttons of his shirt and roll up the sleeves, trying to look as casual as he could in his crisp, expensive suit. It would never be casual enough for the place he was going to visit though and he was very well aware of that.  
  
As the car stopped he immediately got out but held the door for a bit before saying: “I will text you when to come for me.”  
  
After he closed it, he turned and took a deep breath. The evening air was so fresh, it made him feel free and calm. He hadn't hesitated even for a bit before he took few resolute steps forward and walked in the bar he frequented every Wednesday. As he looked around he noted that he truly wasn’t dressed casually enough as always.  
  
It was a biggish place filled with plain dark wooden tables and chairs and decorated with bunch of music posters on the walls. A long bar with numerous bar stools was on the left side. And at the end of the open space there was a small stage where freelance, unknown musicians played on some nights. There was really nothing special about the place – it was simple, ordinary spot for people to hang out in. It was definitely not a luxurious and high-class spot like those where all businessmen like him spend their nights. Actually most of them probably never set a foot in a place like that after getting successful and rich. Junmyeon would have been the same if he hadn't met up with one of his college friends and that friend hadn't suggested they would go there. And after that had happened, Junmyeon was sure he wanted to come back.  
  
Junmyeon’s favourite part of the place was actually the bar. Objectively, it was just an ordinary bar, nothing special about its design or the range of alcohol beverages. But to him it held a very special meaning he kept to himself only.  
  
The businessman sat on the bar stool and put his briefcase under it. As every Wednesday there were not that many people, he was only the fourth person at the bar – and that was exactly how he liked it.  
  
“Hey there, the usual I presume?” said a young man behind the bar with a bright smile as he stopped in front of Junmyeon.  
  
“One of these days I’m going to surprise you and order something different but yeah I guess it will be the same as usual today. I really need it,” Junmyeon sighed.  
  
“Though day, huh?” the bartender took out a whisky glass, put ice cubes in it and then poured in a generous amount of the beverage. All that without taking his eyes off the other man, probably inspecting the visible tiredness in his face.  
  
“It was but I miraculously survived. Probably just because of the thought of relaxing here,” Junmyeon chuckled and grabbed the already prepared drink.  After he took a sip, familiar, pleasant warmth settled in his stomach. “Thank you, Jongdae, you are a life saver.”  
  
“Don’t exaggerate, hyung, I’m just doing my job at getting you drunk and taking your money. But if that’s what you call a life saver I would say I’m the best life saver you could ever find,” Jongdae winked at him playfully.  
  
“And cheers to that,” the elder laughed and lifted up his glass of whisky.  
  
Jongdae responded with an amused smirk and then walked away because he had to do his job as a bartender. It was not in his job description to chat with one of the customers all night. If it had been, Junmyeon would have done everything he could have to go to the bar every day of the week. But they still chatted quite a lot since Wednesdays were such slow days.  
  
When Jongdae didn’t talk to him and prepared drinks for other customers, Junmyeon watched him attentively. He could not take his eyes off the young man. He gave up on hiding that a long time ago – because he was unable to do so, to stop. To say Jongdae was devastatingly handsome would be an understatement after all.  He was only one year younger than Junmyeon but he somehow still managed to emanate the freshness of a teenager. Yet his appearance was manly in a nice, attractive way. Despite being quite short and slim he was pretty muscular – but not excessively, just enough to look amazing in a tight black t-shirt and show off his toned arms. His bright eyes with long eyelashes shone above prominent cheekbones and he squinted in the most charming way when he smiled. But the cutest part of his face was the mouth – corners of the lips turned upwards so it seemed like he was smiling all the time. He looked like an adorable kitten which was actually what Junmyeon called him in his head before he found out his name.  
  
Junmyeon was attracted to him the moment he saw him. Stupendously attracted and that’s why he came back after his first visit of the place. Yes, it might have been shallow of him to concentrate so much on the good looks – however, in his defence, if he had found out Jongdae was a horrible person the attraction would have been gone.  But Jondgae was anything but a horrible person. As Junmyeon found out over few conversations, Jongdae was one of the sweetest and kindest people he had ever met. Yes, he could be quite mischievous and also sassy but in such an adorable manner everyone around him had to forgive him for his antics the minute he smiled. On top of that, he was very charming, talkative and friendly so the bartending job was perfect for him.  
  
Naturally Junmyeon went from being attracted to being fond to having a crush to falling in love over those five months he knew Jongdae. He saw it coming miles away, starting with the first conversation they ever had, and did nothing to stop it – he just went to the bar every Wednesday and let his affection become greater and greater.  
  
That particular Wednesday night was the same as always. He ordered few glasses of the most expensive whisky in the bar, chatted with Jongdae about everything and anything for couple of minutes scattered through the night and decided to pay before the alcohol could affect his mind too much. As per usual he gave an excessively big tip as he handed the bills over the bar. But this time, Jongdae didn’t take it with a thankful yet tentative smile. He pursed his lips as he looked at the money and – was that a frown on his face?  
  
“Look, hyung, I feel like I need to say something. I know that you find me attractive and maybe even like me... you didn’t really try to hide it even though you haven’t said anything directly. So I can’t help but feel bad about the tips you give me because I can’t go out with you,” Jongdae looked at the older man apologetically. “I actually have a boyfriend and deeply care about him and love him so I would never do anything to hurt him. I’m sorry I haven’t told you before but I thought you would do something and I could tell you then or you would stop coming so... I just want to make things clear to you so you don’t waste your money and time here.”  
  
Junmyeon wasn’t surprised by those words. He wondered many times if Jongdae had a girlfriend or a boyfriend and was almost sure he did because there was no reason for such an attractive and sociable young man not to be in a relationship. If anything, he was glad it seemed to be a happy relationship.  
  
“And to be completely honest... even if I didn’t have a boyfriend, I wouldn’t want to date you. Don’t take it the wrong way, you’re really nice and I like you as a person but you seem like the type who’s so deep in the closet he built a fortress out of it. The type of person who would never tell his family and friends that he’s gay and go to few dates a year with women that his colleagues or family set up for him, maybe even date one of those women for a month or so to make people around you happy. And I get that, I really get that you probably have a respectable job or strict parents or both and it doesn’t allow you to come out. I’m not trying to criticize you or anything because I know it’s not easy... but I’ve had enough of people keeping me a secret to last me for a lifetime and I won’t ever make the same mistake again,” Jongdae said while locking eyes with him. His words were stressed and pronounced clearly like he wanted to make sure to get the message, they carried, across.  
  
That, however, shocked Junmyeon. He felt shivers all over his body. Jongdae was right about him, he was so fucking right it was scary. For the first time in five months he found looking at the floor better than looking at the young bartender.  
  
“I’m sorry somebody hurt you before by keeping you a secret. You deserve somebody who will be able to show the whole world he loves you,” Junmyeon finally looked up and it was Jongdae’s turn to be shocked. He obviously did not anticipate such reaction.  
  
“And just to be clear – yes, I do like you; I actually think I might be in love with you. But I won’t do anything about it, won’t try to make any move because I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me. I still want to come here and talk to you because you’re one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met and honestly, you make my life so much brighter you don’t even know. And I’m not wasting money or time here even if you don’t return my feelings. So I’ll be back next Wednesday and please, let me give you the tips. Because as I said, you’re a life saver and I think that should be sufficiently rewarded,” the young businessman smiled kindly.  
  
Jongdae scrutinized him for the moment, arms folded on his chest as a protective gesture. The elder’s eyes looked so genuine he became sure there was no pretence involved. It made him relax a bit, let his arms down and actually show a soft smile. “Okay,” he only murmured.  
  
“Okay, see you next Wednesday then,” Junmyeon hoped down from the stool, took his briefcase and left with a smile directed at Jongdae.  
  
The air was even fresher then when he went it. He took as much as he could into his lungs and breathed out slowly. That was the moment the pain hit him. Because you can always anticipate being rejected, you can imagine all the possible scenarios in your head but it won’t make the suffering any less painful. He sent a message to his driver to pick him up – not wanting to go home to an empty apartment yet needing to go home to an empty apartment to be alone with his broken heart.  
  
\--------------------------------------------------  
  
The dignified whisky was full of flavours, so clear and easy to distinguish, and it made the mouth feel dry because of its astringency. It actually dominated the mouth; all tastes so impossible to miss how they teased all the taste buds. All the simplicity and straightforwardness of the whisky and all its flavours were what Junmyeon enjoyed so much. He appreciated those qualities in both his whisky and his life. However, with life it was not always as easy as picking the perfect whisky to fit his demands.  
  
Junmyeon watched the ice cubes collide with each other. But it was not a hostile collision – the ice cubes worked together like that to make the drink even better. Because the perfect amount of them made the excellence of whisky rise. He took another sip and let his eyes focus on the bartender who always knew what the perfect amount was supposed to be.  
  
That Wednesday was slower than usual – there was a half of the standard amount of customers so the staffs were not that busy. Jongdae was just polishing the glasses when Junmyeon finally gathered the courage to start a conversation with a topic he had been thinking a whole week about.  
  
“Jongdae, can I ask you something personal? It might seem like I’m prying and crossing some boundaries so you can stop me whenever you feel uncomfortable or you just don’t have to answer right from the start.”  
  
The younger man squinted at him. Since Junmyeon put it that way it seemed like an awfully personal thing. “Okay, ask me and we will see.”  
  
“Well, last week you said that you had enough of people keeping you a secret to last you for a lifetime... and I wanted to ask who was the person that made you feel like that? I know I’m being nosy and perhaps kind of rude but I would like to hear your story if you don’t mind sharing it with me,” Junmyeon bit his lip as all the words left his mouth. He knew how weird it sounded, how it was completely inappropriate to ask people to talk about their life struggles without them bringing up the subject themselves.  
  
Jongdae stopped polishing glasses for a moment and chuckled while shaking his head. “Hyung, it doesn’t just seem like you are prying... you actually are prying, you know that? Why do you want to hear about it anyway? Will you avenge me?” There was something strange in his expression when he asked the last question but it was gone before Junmyeon could identify it.  
  
“If you want me to,” Junmyeon shrugged nonchalantly but ended up laughing together with Jongdae because they both knew how ridiculous the idea was. “Nothing like that, of course. And I guess I just want to know more about you. I’m sorry if I’m putting you in an uncomfortable position by asking that kind of thing.”  
  
“You kind of are,” Jongdae nodded slightly. However, an imperceptible smile escaped his lips. “But it is okay. I guess I would tell you one day anyway so why not now.”  
  
Junmyeon’s eyes widened a bit. He would tell him one day anyway? It was a simple remark but it made his heart flutter. It seemed like Jongdae was counting on their interactions to continue in the future, possibly quite far future. He tried not to give it a significant meaning (he failed) as he watched the bartender prepare some orders, and waited for their conversation to continue.  
  
When Jongdae finished and a waitress took away all the drinks, he whipped his hands into a cloth and took a deep breath.  
  
“His name was Park Chanyeol. He had been a regular even before I started working here. He came here for the music... he was kind of this musical spirit by night and a successful lawyer by day. You might have heard of him since he specializes in business law and he’s supposed to be quite good.”  
  
Junmyeon had definitely heard of Park Chanyeol. He had even worked with him on one important merger about a year ago. Tall, handsome and very capable at his job. Suddenly a memory of them going to a parlour with all the people who worked on the merger flashed through his mind. Chanyeol was the life of the party – loud, fun and... flirting with a pretty waitress. The way he talked about all women was definitely not a way a gay man would speak – but some gay men who wanted to cover their sexuality definitely spoke like that (not Junmyeon though, he hated the lewd way his colleagues and business partners talked about women and always stayed quiet). But there was no way in hell he was telling Jongdae that.  
  
“We’ve actually worked together for a bit,” he admitted only. No need to pour salt on old (but probably still a bit open) wounds.  
  
“I see. It’s a small world after all,” Jongdae murmured absent-mindedly and paused for a bit but then his eyes got some life into them again and he looked like he was ready to continue. “Well, you know what he looks like then. To me he was this handsome, fascinating and successful person. I admired how he preserved his love for music even with a job like that and I loved that he had this loveable dorky side to himself. And it made me feel so freaking good that he was obviously interested in me, you know? He would sit here, always pleading and pouting so I would talk to him more. I thought it was so cute... so I naturally agreed when he asked me out. It was this perfect start of a seemingly perfect relationship.”  
  
There was a sad smile on his face that made Junmyeon’s chest clench. It was probably good that Jongdae needed to prepare more drinks for other customers before he could go on. He also refilled the elder’s whisky while he was at it and propped himself on the bar after the pause in their conversation.  
  
“But after some time I realized something felt wrong. We never hung out in big public places... we either stayed here or went to some mostly empty shitty coffee shops or hung out in my apartment. I think I was in his like once or twice those whole two years we went out. And he never touched me when we were in public. Not even a bit, like a simple hand on my shoulder would have made the whole world realize he was gay. He knew all my friends but never introduced me to his – or to his family or colleagues. Once we accidentally met one of his co-workers and I could feel – from the safe one meter distance he kept – how he tensed. He introduced me as his friend and I thought I would start crying right then and there. But I told myself I was being too sensitive. That I should respect he wasn’t out. And I loved him. I was so fucking in love with him and didn’t want to lose him. And he always freaked out when I tried to talk to him about coming out. I tried to be fine but it hurt so much, all the hiding and secrecy – and I felt like I wasn’t good enough for him if he didn’t want to be even seen with me in public.” Jongdae stopped talking then and rubbed his face.  
  
It was the first time Junmyeon saw him take a shot of some liquor at work. He poured it for himself and closed his eyes as the liquid travelled through his throat.  
  
Junmyeon wanted to jump over the bar and hug him because he was afraid (and most likely right) that there was still a part of Jongdae that thought he really wasn’t good enough for Chanyeol. He wanted to tell him that he was more than enough and it was not his fault. Nevertheless, he stayed in his stool and took a shot of whisky.  
  
“The thing that broke me was when I found out he went to dates with women even though we went out... just to make his stupid co-workers shut up. I don’t even want to know if he slept with any of them but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the case,” Jongdae sneered as he was trying not to care, not to feel all the pain – but he obviously failed since the sneer was filled with undeniable sadness. “When I confronted him about it he told me that it was what he had to do. He hadn’t even apologized, hadn’t shown any sign of feeling bad about it until I told him we were over. He cried and promised he wouldn’t do it anymore... he said he loved me and didn’t know how to live without me. But I knew I could not continue living like that. So I told him that he should find someone who wouldn’t mind being his skeleton in the closet and I left.”  
  
Despite the sad and hurt expression on his face, Jongdae wasn’t painfully tensed anymore as he finished talking about Chanyeol. He even smiled after few seconds and it felt genuine again. “So here you have it, my skeleton in the closet story as I like to call it. I might write an autobiography and make few bucks out of it,” he joked. It surprisingly didn’t feel forced.  
  
“Few bucks? I bet on a best-seller,” Junmyeon quipped and he felt really accomplished when it made Jongdae burst out laughing.  
  
“Yeah, sure, let’s make the bet later so I can add little something to my few bucks,” he shook his head still laughing. Then he suddenly leaned over the bar and looked at the businessman so attentively it sent shivers down Junmyeon’s spine. “So... I think it would only be fair if I got to ask a personal question as well, don’t you think?”  
  
“Be my guest,” Junmyeon chuckled and observed the bartender as he left his personal space and poured him another glass of whisky with the perfect amount of ice.  
  
“Okay... how many serious relationships have you had?”  
  
_So Jongdae decided to stay in the relationship area of fun topics to talk about_ , Junmyeon concluded and simpered. “One. I’ve survived mostly on one-night stands.”  
  
“Can’t say I’m surprised. So how many men have you slept with? You seem like the type to keep count.”  
  
“I... wait! I only got to ask you one question, didn’t I? How is this fair?”  
  
“Just answer the question, Junmyeon.”  
  
Junmyeon wondered when Jongdae decided to drop the honorifics (but he guessed it was around the time Jongdae told him how Chanyeol broke his heart). He didn’t mind it though – he liked that it felt like they got closer.  
  
“So?” the bartender obviously still insisted on the question to be answered even after Junmyeon hadn’t said anything for few seconds.  
  
“Twenty-nine.”  
  
“Jesus, Junmyeon, you can’t go through men like through socks!”  
  
“I don’t! It’s just... I don’t know... what’s your number then, mister pristine?” Junmyeon tried to sound snidely but he was too embarrassed to succeed in his efforts. Was his number really that high?  
  
“Four as of this moment,” Jondgae shrugged, seemingly unfazed.  
  
It made Junmyeon’s chin drop. “Okay, I’m a slut,” he raised his hands in surrender.  
  
Jongdae guffawed so hard it drew attention of some customers in the bar but they fortunately turned back (right after they had examined the situation) and continued their own conversations.  
  
“You’re not a slut, Junmyeon! I was just making fun of you. It’s a perfectly normal number! If you live off one-night stands the number goes up rather quickly. I get that. Nothing to be ashamed of so stop blushing like a teenager, okay?” Jongdae rolled his eyes although he clearly found that endearing (Junmyeon was oblivious to the fact because he still felt pretty embarrassed). “Tell me about the one who you were in a relationship with. He didn’t mind that you aren’t out?”  
  
The businessman took a sip of his whisky and shook his head. “He didn’t because he’s not either. His name is Do Kyungsoo and we work together in the same company. He’s the head of the accounting even though he’s around your age. It was kind of funny actually... we accidentally met in this gay club, both completely shocked and prepared to beg the other on our knees not to tell anyone when we realized neither of us would out the other since we were in the same situation,” Junmyeon snickered as he remembered how frightened he had been then.  
  
Jongdae who had been listening attentively the whole time only gave him an understanding smile – he could probably imagine the situation well.  
  
“So we started talking and you know how it goes... I actually noticed him before that night in the office and was attracted to him so I told myself why not. The intended one-night stand turned into a relationship which lasted about a year or so. It was good, I liked being in a relationship – finally something stable. But... how to put it... there were no fireworks? We liked each other but sometimes it just felt like a friendship with occasional sex, you know? We both felt like that but it was actually him who put it into words and ended things. I was still in this phase where I wanted to work on it but he told me we shouldn’t waste time... it kind of hurt. But we remained friends so that’s good because he’s a great guy,” Junmyeon ended it on a high note.  
  
“And have you remained friends with or without occasional sex?” there was this knowing tone in Jongdae’s question. And then Junmyeon spotted something unfamiliar in his expression for the second time that day... again not being able to figure out what it was.  
  
“With... but it’s nothing, really. Just sometimes when we bump into each other somewhere in a club we might but it’s not like we actually plan on it or something.”  
  
“You don’t answer to me, Junmyeon, I’m not your boyfriend, okay? So you don’t have to explain yourself. Or be ashamed for that matter. You’re a single guy and it’s actually better to sleep with someone you know, don’t you think?” Jongdae leaned over the bar and give the elder’s shoulder a friendly nudge.  
  
“I guess it is.”  
  
“And you know the sex will be good, right? So that’s another plus.”  
  
“Great, actually.”  
  
“Pardon?”  
  
“The sex will be great. Just to correct you.”  
  
“Oh, sorry, I stand corrected,” Jongdae chuckled. “Do you have his picture?”  
  
Junmyeon was taken aback by the sudden request but pulled out his phone anyway. It took quite some time for him to find that one picture he secretly took of his ex-boyfriend (he didn’t like being photographed). He showed the screen to Jongdae who once again leaned over the bar and started perusing the picture.  
  
“He’s cute. Very kissable lips, I like that. And what kind of person is he?” Jongdae inquired as he started working on some orders but kept glancing at the elder to show he’s listening.  
  
Junmyeon gave it some thought while putting the phone back to his briefcase. “He’s a rather quiet person; he keeps to himself a lot. But if you start talking about a topic he’s interested in, he becomes this amazingly passionate and talkative person. He’s mostly calm but if he disagrees with someone, is angry or someone is bothering him, he knows how to speak his mind and be firm. Most of his colleagues would tell you that he has quite the temper but I think that you just have to know how to talk to him and not be rude or provoke him.”  
  
Jongdae slightly nodded and was grinning while scrutinizing Junmyeon. “So you don’t have a specific type then, do you?”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Well, that Kyungsoo sounds like quite the opposite of me. And you’ve liked both of us so I guess you don’t have one specific type you are interested in.”  
  
Junmyeon froze and his throat suddenly felt dry – Jongdae had acknowledged his feelings so calmly like it was a normal occurrence. “Does anyone have one though?” he responded vaguely.  
  
“Of course! Many people are like that, sticking to one type. For example they like cute, small types who would cling to them and they could protect them like some kind of hero. This guy I once went out with thought I was like that... you should see the look on his face when I punched some sleaze who groped my ass in a club. It was like he was suddenly turned off by the fact that I could take care of myself,” Jongdae snickered.  
  
“Really? Well, I guess some people are like that after all,” Junmyeon chuckled. He could imagine the bartender showing his fierce side in that kind of situation (and, unlike that cute-guys-loving guy, he really liked it). “And in that sleaze’s defence, your ass is freaking amazing.”  
  
Jongdae paused in surprise for a moment, obviously not expecting that kind of reaction. Nevertheless, there was a cloth thrown at Junmyeon’s face very shortly. “Kim Junmyeon! I did not have you pegged as a type who would stare at my amazing ass when I bend down behind the bar! I should have known, it’s always the quiet ones!”  
  
“What can I say, I thought there was a phone in your back pocket because that ass was calling me,” the elder shrugged nonchalantly.  
  
“How can you even say such a pick up line with a straight face?!” Jondgae couldn’t help but start laughing. “You’re unbelievable. Do you go around in clubs telling guys those pick up lines? Wait, do you go around telling those pick up lines and groping ass? And that’s why you tried to defend the sleaze who groped me? It’s all fitting in!”  
  
They ended up making fun of each other and uncontrollably bursting out laughing for the rest of the night. Until Junmyeon (with great displeasure) had to text his driver to pick him up because it was getting quite late and he had work the next day. In the last half hour he stopped counting the times he considered calling in sick the next day and staying in the bar till its closing time.  
  
As he had said last week, he still left a generous tip but not as big as usual. He didn’t want to make the bartender feel that much uncomfortable and, judging from Jondgae’s satisfied and thankful smile, he succeeded at that.  
  
While Junmyeon was making his way to the exit, a loud familiar voice stopped him after few steps.  
  
“Just so you know... you haven’t seen my ass in skinny jeans yet. So you really have no idea how amazing it actually is.”  
  
He didn’t even have to turn around to know that Jongdae was smirking confidently, mischief glinting in his eyes.  
  
“Can’t wait,” he responded with a grin playing on his lips and left the bar.  
  
\--------------------------------------------------  
  
_Even if we wander in unfamiliar places, even if we get lost_  
_I’ll follow my heart that’s more honest than anyone else’s_  
_Because I can’t resist your quiet movements that strike me,_  
_and your sharp and soft gaze_  
  
The bar was filled with the musician’s voice and the melody he played on his acoustic guitar. He sat on a high wooden stool, legs crossed, looking completely immersed in the music. And it was presumably thanks to his talent and charms that the place became unusually crowded for a Wednesday night.  
  
The young businessman found himself listening attentively. It was like that for the first time since he had started coming to the place. The first reason for it was that Jondgae was too busy to have their usual conversation. And the second was that he actually liked the music to his surprise – it was how he preferred music to be, with meaningful lyrics and sweet melody.  
  
There was a strange yet cute accent in the musician’s pronunciation, implying he was a foreigner. Junmyeon wondered what kind of nationality he could be – and when the young man started singing in Chinese, it put the end to the guessing.  
  
Junmyeon had learned Chinese in college so he gave it a try and strained his ears, trying to understand at least something. His Chinese skills were mediocre, all he got were bits and pieces like “I’m crying” or “I don’t want to leave” – and it made sense considering the sorrowful melody. He was actually quite proud of himself for being able to follow the lyrics a bit.  
  
“He’s good, right?” a familiar voice disrupted his concentration.  
  
As Junmyeon turned his head he laid eyes on Jongdae refilling his whisky. The younger man looked particularly attractive that day – hair styled up, black collared shirt with two buttons unbuttoned and sleeves rolled up so a thick leather bracelet on his wrist could be seen. He definitely knew how to make it harder for Junmyeon not to have inappropriate thoughts.  
  
“Yeah, he is. I like that it’s the real music, you know? Not those weird music fusions you guys have here most of the time.”  
  
“Not into music fusions I see,” Jongdae chuckled amusedly. “For me it’s a hit or miss with them. But I also prefer the real music as you like to call it. Especially this kind of performance seems magical – one musician with his own lyrics, acoustic guitar and indisputable passion and talent. It’s like music brought to life.”  
  
The bartender watched the musician performing on the stage with evident admiration in his eyes, a daydreaming smile playing on his lips. Junmyeon deemed the smile breathtakingly beautiful.  
  
“And the musician is really handsome, don’t you think?” Jongdae suddenly woke up from his daydreaming and wiggled eyebrows at the elder.  
  
Only after Jongdae mentioned the musician’s looks, Junmyeon took a good look at him. He actually was quite handsome – short raven hair with slightly shaved sides, soft facial features and, judging from what the tight black v-neck was revealing, he didn’t lack in the physique department. The most charming feature seemed to be his prominent dimples, making their appearance when he thanked the audience for applause with a smile.  
  
“Yeah, he’s stunning. But wouldn’t your boyfriend be jealous that you comment on the hot musicians who perform in your bar?”  
  
Jongdae blinked in surprise at the question yet started chuckling in a moment. “I have a feeling he wouldn’t mind.”  
  
He then winked at the elder as if he tried to relay a message Junmyeon could not decipher. So he just watched Jongdae go back to preparing drinks and humming to the song the performing musician was playing at the moment.  
  
“Thank you, everybody, I will take a short break but I’ll be back so don’t go anywhere and anticipate more, please.”  
  
The musician propped his guitar on the wooden stool and jumped off the stage, making his way to the bar. He smiled (exposing his charming dimples) at each and every person who showered him with praises, and thanked those people for coming and listening.  
  
“Hey there, handsome,” he said as he reached his destination, leaning over the bar.  
  
Junmyeon could only stare, completely bewildered, as Jongdae beamed at the musician and locked lips with him.  
  
_Good friends could kiss on lips like that_ , Junmyeon reminded himself. It was nothing unusual, completely normal, mundane almost... oh, okay, the tongue, yeah, he was screwed.  
  
Before seeing _the_ boyfriend Junmyeon could imagine him as some odd, boring and not at all attractive guy. A guy Jongdae wouldn’t last together with for long. It was kind of a malicious thinking but all’s fair in love and war, right?  
  
Nevertheless, Jongdae’s boyfriend turned out to be quite the opposite.  
  
“Could you give me a glass of water with lemon and ice, please? And make it on the house,” the boyfriend winked playfully after they had ( _finally_ , Junmyeon thought to himself) got out of their lip lock.  
  
“Okay... and will it be on the house because you’re my boyfriend or because you’re the performing artist?”  
  
“What’s the difference?”  
  
“Well, you don’t have to compensate the latter one to me in other way than with money.”  
  
“I see... so because I’m your boyfriend then.”  
  
Junmyeon wished he didn’t have to listen to their conversation. But the boyfriend decided to stand awfully close, only one empty bar stool between them, so it was unavoidable – and a pure torture. Yes, he had known for two weeks Jongdae had a boyfriend and was well aware there was nothing he could do about it. He also realized he should be happy for them – it hadn’t been a hard task until seeing them so smitten. That felt like someone punched him in the gut.  
  
“Thanks, babe. The compensation will have to wait but I’ll keep it in mind, don’t you worry,” the boyfriend had assured the bartender and leaned over for a parting kiss before going back to the stage.  
  
It was painfully obvious how enamoured Jongdae was. No wonder, his boyfriend seemed like a great catch so it was his right to have an infatuated smile on his lips. And it was Junmyeon’s right to try to ignore it.  
  
He decided to speak up first to attempt to seem okay with the whole situation. “So that’s why your boyfriend wouldn’t mind that you said the musician was hot. I should have seen it coming... after all, you've said Chanyeol was a musical spirit or something and the way you talk about music... you are one of those people to have one specific type – a musician.”  
  
_Yes, play it casual and relaxed, Junmyeon, you’re doing great_ , he cheered on himself in his head.  
  
“I am not! It just turned out like that. I don’t go around dating all the musicians I get to meet. And I actually found out after two weeks of dating that Yixing was a musician.”  
  
Junmyeon kind of preferred calling Yixing _the boyfriend_ – for some reason it got all more personal after knowing his name.  
  
“I see, I see... so what was it that got your attention and lured you in? The dimples?”  
  
“Yeah, and the mind-blowing sex.”  
  
He did not need to know that. Was it too late for him to force it out of his mind? “Good for you,” the businessman laughed (and prayed it didn’t sound too strained) and took a sip of his whisky. The drink had a horrible temperature since he had forgotten to drink it, the imaginary darts stabbed in his chest occupying his mind.  
  
“Thanks,” Jongdae grinned. If he noticed how uncomfortable Junmyeon was, he did an amazing job at hiding it. “And hey, since we’re on the topic of boyfriends, I have this proposition to make.”  
  
The elder furrowed his eyebrows in premonition. “What kind of proposition?”  
  
“Well, I know you’re single...”  
  
“... and ready to mingle...”  
  
A pause.  
  
“Yeah, you’re going to die alone if I don’t help you.”  
  
They both then burst out laughing, turning few heads. But only the ones who were close to them since Yixing was just playing a fun song and singing loudly which fortunately successfully covered up their outburst for most of the customers.  
  
“Okay, time to stop laughing, Junmyeon, I’m being serious,” Jongdae nudged shoulder of the elder man. “I have this friend – he’s quite good-looking, although he himself would tell you he’s the hottest piece of ass you will ever lay your eyes on. Yeah, he’s the confident type. Anyway, he probably wouldn’t mind you being in the closet as long as you spoil him with gifts and attention. So what do you say, should I set the two of you up?”  
  
Jongdae might have said that he was being serious but Junmyeon thought he must have been joking... or at least hoped so. “Look, Jongdae, I appreciate the effort but I’m not the type who would like to buy someone’s love with money... even though I might not seem like it.”  
  
“But I didn’t mean it like that, Junmyeon, I just...”  
  
“I know, you tried to say he would be okay with me not being out. It’s nice of you, really, but I don’t feel like dating anyone so you can stay out of my relationship business from now on.”  
  
He knew he sounded way too serious, a bit unpleasant even, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. It was one thing Jongdae didn’t return his feelings, but trying to set him up with someone after he had confessed two weeks ago... that felt just offensive to Junmyeon. He might have been overreacting but he had the right to do so.  
  
“Okay... sorry if you felt like I was pressuring you into it and it made you uncomfortable. I did not mean to make you feel like that.”  
  
Junmyeon started to care about being unpleasant the moment he saw Jongdae’s apologetic expression. The younger man suddenly looked so sombre, his eyes lost all their brightness and there was this painful sadness in them – it was the epitome of feeling awfully bad about saying something.  
  
“No, I’m sorry, I overreacted... relationships are a sensitive topic for me and I don’t really enjoy being set up. I know you meant well but I just don't feel like going through with it.”  
  
Jongdae brightened up visibly, smiling lightly and shaking his head. “No need to apologize, I was crossing the line. It’s completely fine to say no so don’t worry about it. And your next whisky is on me, okay?”  
  
The elder tried to protest but the shoved glass in his face made his mouth shut. Jongdae grinned at him, back to his usual bubbly self, and then continued with his work.  
  
The mood between them might have gone back to normal but Junmyeon still chose to go home after finishing the whisky. He never felt so lonely in his life. After seeing Jongdae with Yixing and Jongdae trying to set him up with someone, he realized how alone he actually was. He had thought his one-sided love would be okay, no intense suffering included but life slapped him hard and showed him how it actually goes.  
  
As he was leaving the bar, he once again paid attention to Yixing’s lyrics and didn’t know whether to laugh like a madman or cry.  
  
_I know it’s not right  
But I still come looking for you  
I know that this isn’t meant to be  
But I don’t want to give up_  
  
\--------------------------------------------------  
  
Deafening music, people everywhere you looked, alcohol spilled on the floor as the result of accidental collisions and sometimes even a shattered glass – that was a Saturday night for Junmyeon. He usually went to one of his favourite clubs, sometimes with an evident intention to go home with someone, but most of the times just for a drink and to let off some steam (and he enjoyed the flirting even if it didn’t result in getting laid). He was not sure which case it was that night. But he decided not to give it excessive thought and just enjoy himself.  
  
He went up to the bar and ordered a gin and tonic for starters. It was up to the flow of the night if he ended up with the same type of drink the whole time, or too many shots of too many types of liquors it would make his head spin.  
  
The dancing floor was crowded, sweaty bodies rubbing against each other, mostly in a very sensual matter. Despite being far from at least a decent dancer himself, Junmyeon enjoyed watching other people dance and after a reasonable amount of alcohol could even show off some of his moves if a hot guy asked him to. He started swaying a bit to the rhythm and continued observing the club scene.  
  
Suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder which made him turn around. To his pleasant surprise it was not some persistent sleaze but a friend.  
  
“Hey, will you let me buy you a drink?”  
  
Junmyeon looked at his empty glass – he didn’t even realize he had drunk his drink down so quickly, which only meant he was more than ready for another one. “Sure.”  
  
He watched his friend, and an ex-boyfriend, ordering on the bar. The man looked dashing as always when going out to a club. He wore simple black jeans and a black button up (not like he really wore any other colour often) but it looked luxurious on him.  
  
“Thanks,” Junmyeon smiled as he was handed a drink. “So, how have you been, Kyungsoo?”  
  
~  
  
He had forgotten how nice it felt to kiss Kyungsoo. How his mind went blank when they stumbled to his bed, lips locked, taking off each other’s clothes and touching everywhere.  
  
The sex was great as always and Kyungsoo stayed the night (a silent agreement between them) which meant Junmyeon was getting a nice home-made breakfast in the morning. Kyungsoo was a caring guy like that; even after they had broken up he made sure to spoil him with food after sleeping together. It never felt weird or like an indication of getting back together – those breakfasts were just a nice, friendly way of saying _thank you for the great night of rocking my world_.  
  
The only problem was that, despite being freaking exhausted, Junmyeon could not fall asleep. He just stared at the ceiling of his bedroom, listening to Kyungsoo’s regular breathing. And he did not want to admit what was bothering his mind. No, he was not letting it get to him.  
  
Blink. A picture of Jongdae. Blink.  
  
He was screwed.  
  
\--------------------------------------------------  
  
The weather was getting colder, streets of the city greyer and Junmyeon’s mind more restless. He knew he had no reason to feel guilty – Jongdae was a mere crush (okay, he was much more than that but it felt better to belittle the infatuation) and had a boyfriend on top of that. There was no relationship between them. They could probably pass as quite good friends but that was it – and quite good friends shouldn’t feel guilty about sleeping with other people.  
  
That however did not stop Junmyeon from feeling ashamed as he stepped into the bar. Like Jongdae could immediately tell what had gone down on the Saturday night, when he saw him.  
  
Jongdae wasn’t able to tell such thing because he was not behind the bar. That startled Junmyeon – the younger man was there every Wednesday, all his kittenish smiles and playful remarks. Instead of him there was another young man, probably in his late twenties as well, serving the customers and sending mischievous winks left and right.  
  
“Hey there, pretty face, what are we drinking tonight?” he twirled towards the businessman and rested his elbows on the bar in quite flirtatious manner, eyelashes fluttering.  
  
“Where’s Jongdae?”  
  
“Never heard of that drink before,” the bartender chuckled and leaned forward a bit, inspecting the new customer. “But for your information, I’m more handsome, better at this job and even better in bed so anything you need from him you can get from me with higher standard of care... think about it,” he winked.  
  
Junmyeon was taken aback by such confidence – and then he remembered something (quite unpleasant) from last week. “Aren’t you the guy Jongdae wanted me to go out with?”  
  
“The name is Baekhyun. And if you’re Junmyeon, that would be me. Regretting your decision now?”  
  
There was an eyebrow wiggle instead of wink this time and Junmyeon had to grin. He liked the refreshing feeling Baekhyun emanated – it was obvious he was very mischievous but Junmyeon had a feeling he knew where the line was and stopped just before he crossed it. People like that were unfortunately pretty rare.  
  
Plus, there was definitely a reason for Baekhyun’s confidence about his looks – he was very fresh-faced, silky light brown hair falling into his endearing droopy eyes and an alluring mole above his upper lip.  
  
“If you give me a whisky with the right amount of ice, I might start to,” the businessman quipped.  
  
Baekhyun snorted at him, looking quite amused. He didn’t even ask what kind of whisky it would be, which left Junmyeon wondering if Jongdae had told him. The bartender friends had definitely talked about him since Baekhyun knew his name so favourite drink might have been mentioned as well.  
  
“So?” Baekhyun lifted one of his eyebrows, waiting for the verdict after he had handed the drink.  
  
“Sorry, one ice cube away from perfection... but good effort,” Junmyeon smirked. He enjoyed how playful their conversation was.  
  
“Damn, you’re really hard to please. We probably wouldn’t work out because I would have to strangle you in your sleep if you insisted on everything being perfect like that.”  
  
“Such a shame.”  
  
“Yeah, it is! You’re pretty hot and definitely well off so totally my type. But even if you were a bit more easy-going, which I recommend working on by the way, it wouldn’t work out between us... so I guess it’s a good thing we haven’t tried.”  
  
“And why’s that?”  
  
“Well, you’re in love with Jongdae who’s my best friend... not really a healthy start of a relationship, don’t you think?”  
  
Junmyeon definitely thought so. It was only Jongdae who was oblivious to the fact it seemed like. But looking at it from his perspective, he wanted his two friends to get together and be happy. He probably felt like they would hit it off – and Junmyeon had to agree with him. If it had been under different circumstances, he would have loved to get to know Baekhyun better and take him out on a date.  
  
“I agree. But back to my original question... where’s Jongdae? Is he sick or something?”  
  
Baekhyun scrutinized the businessman for a moment as if he was trying to decide whether to disclose some secret to him or not. “He’s just not here today. If you want to know the reason you’ll have to ask him. But don’t worry he’s fine. Actually, he’ll be here tomorrow covering my shift since I’m covering his today. So you can come to have your whisky with perfect amount of ice if you have time, mister businessman.”  
  
Junmyeon did not have time to come tomorrow – he had already promised his co-workers he would go to dinner with them and then to some club. But he was determined to make some time even if it meant lying and saying that he had some family emergency to take care of. He needed to see for himself that Jongdae was okay.  
  
“Thank you for telling me.”  
  
Baekhyun gave him a kind smile. “You’re welcome.”  
  
They ended up talking for a bit during the night. They mostly just exchanged some basic information about themselves but also joked around a lot. Baekhyun was a very fun person to be around. So when Junmyeon took a look at his watch and realized it was time to go home, he felt like the hours had gone by very quickly and he hadn’t even got the chance to ask half the questions he had wanted. He left the usual generous tip, not even thinking twice about it, and stood up from his bar stool.  
  
“You tip really well. Don’t you want to come on Thursdays as well? I wouldn’t mind the extra money, you know,” Baekhyun simpered.  
  
Junmyeon heaved a sigh because, as much as he wanted to, there was no way in hell he could get free Thursday nights regularly. “Sorry, no time. But if I happen to be free I will definitely stop by, okay?”  
  
“That was not the answer I wanted to hear,” Baekhyun pouted, trying to use it as a last-minute method of persuasion, but he knew beforehand it would have no impact. “But I guess it’s better than nothing. See you soon, Junmyeon, take care.”  
  
They waved at each other, exchanging smiles. At that time Junmyeon was really starting to regret that the circumstances weren’t better and more suitable for them to get to know each other more than just acquaintances and possibly future friends.

\--------------------------------------------------

Jongdae’s prominent bags under eyes – probably a result of a sleepless night – were alarming. He was slouched behind the bar and it seemed like there was nothing of his usual positive energy left in him. Not even an ounce. He was absent-mindedly wiping the granite surface of the bar, looking like an epitome of exhaustion.  
  
Something finally flashed in his bleary eyes, namely a recognition, when he spotted Junmyeon. Instead of the usual smile or greeting he just poured a glass of whiskey for him in stony silence.  
  
“Baekhyun told you I would be here, right?” he said after a while.  
  
“He did. I hope you don’t mind... I just wanted to see if you were okay. It really scared me when you weren’t here yesterday. You’ve never missed a Wednesday so I figured some bad things might have happened and I was worried.”  
  
Jongdae nodded understandingly and heaved a sigh. “As you can see I’m not exactly okay but I’ll live... do you want to hear what happened?”  
  
Junmyeon wondered why he had asked him that. It was obvious he came just to see him and get some answers if possible. “I do if you don’t mind telling me.”  
  
The bartender nodded again, this time biting his lip and looking kind of disconcerted.  
  
“Yixing broke up with me on Monday,” he stated simply. It seemed like he waited for Junmyeon to process the new, possibly quite shocking information – after all, they had seemed so happy and in love the week before. “He fell in love with someone else. Some other Chinese dancer who worked with him in a dance studio. They’re going back to China to set up their own dance studio there and be fucking happy for the rest of their lives. Lovely, isn’t it?”  
  
The sarcastic tone was stained with sorrow. An outburst of a heartbreak crept out of Jongdae’s throat as he tried his best to keep it in. Junmyeon did not want to guess how many tears he had shed since the break-up – he just seemed so broken and fragile, it was painful to watch.  
  
As much as Junmyeon resented his selfish way of thinking at that moment, he could not help asking himself what it meant for him. He obviously wouldn’t go after Jongdae and ask him out right away, that would be awfully rude and insensitive, but it didn’t change the fact Jongdae was single again... and Junmyeon knew he had to do something about it at the right time and place before somebody else would.  
  
“I’m so sorry.”  
  
There was really nothing else he could say.  
  
“It’s okay, it obviously wasn’t meant to be... and I will get over it, I just need some time because... well, it was quite sudden to be honest.”  
  
Junmyeon knew it was not okay. Because Jongdae was most probably thinking he was not good enough, once again. That if he had tried more or done some things a different way, Yixing would not have left him for someone else. _That’s bullshit_ , Junmyeon felt like shouting while grabbing his shoulders and shaking him. But he did nothing of the sort.  
  
“What’s your favourite drink?” he asked instead.  
  
Jongdae looked taken by surprise, certainly not expecting such question. “I usually drink white wine but whisky is the best for a heartbreak I feel like.”  
  
“Then one whisky on me, okay?”  
  
When Jongdae poured himself a drink and thanked the elder, Junmyeon just shook his head and told him that it was his pleasure.  
  
“You saw us together... we looked happy, right? Nothing seemed out of place? Sorry for asking that but I keep going back and I’m trying to find the moment when it all went so wrong...  and that’s a lot of moments to go through since we were together for a year and a half. “  
  
It was Junmyeon’s turn to be taken by surprise at that moment. Also, the younger might have said _when it all went so wrong_ but it resembled _what I’ve done so wrong_ more. There was no doubt about that.  
  
“You looked really happy. Both of you. But I guess that sometimes in life, no matter how happy you are with somebody and everything is just fine, you might find another person who will feel more right for you. And then it’s really nobody’s fault. It just happens like that,” Junmyeon tried to express his thoughts and hoped it conveyed the intended message. He didn’t know whether it would help at least a bit or not but he had to try. “I know it doesn’t ease the pain. But I hope it will stop you from wondering about what you’ve done wrong or could have done better. Because, I repeat, it was nobody’s fault... and definitely not yours, okay?”  
  
Jongdae just stood there frozen, eyes wide open yet unfocused. Only after few moments he moved to wipe off a single tear that escaped his left eye. “Okay,” he breathed.  
  
No matter how much Junmyeon wanted to embrace him and kiss him, he did no such thing. He knew better then to do something so stupid.  
  
“So... what did you think about Baekhyun?” the bartender decided to change the topic and went back to preparing some orders that waited for him. He seemed to regain some composure which made Junmyeon genuinely glad.  
  
“He’s nice. Very fun to be around, no wonder you guys are friends... you both have very refreshing personalities and I can tell it’s never boring when you get together.”  
  
“It’s definitely not,” Jongdae chuckled. “Then, do you regret not letting me set you up with him after meeting him? I’m really curious about that.”  
  
Junmyeon was pondering for a bit. He had regretted the circumstances hadn’t been different the previous day – but on Thursday everything seemed to change quite a bit. Either way, he was sure he did not regret refusing being set up.  
  
“I don’t.”  
  
There was this mysterious smile on Jongdae’s lips which made Junmyeon’s insides implode. Could he be so daring and presume there was a special meaning behind that smile? A special meaning that would possibly indicate there was a chance for Junmyeon’s one-sided love to turn into a mutual love? He knew he shouldn’t get ahead of himself so much, that there was still a lot of time for something like that but it made him shiver with (hopefully justified) anticipation.  
  
\--------------------------------------------------  
  
Junmyeon was in serious need of a drink that Saturday night. He decided to go to a club rather than to some bar because it meant being surrounded with people who were like him. When it was just himself on Saturdays he always went to a gay bar. It felt so freeing – not needing to care about people judging him for expressing his sexuality. He wished it could be like that everywhere he went. But the world was not that accepting.  
  
He made his way to the bar right after arriving, ordering the usual gin and tonic. He scanned the place for possible appearance of Kyungsoo. Not that he was in the mood for hooking up; he would have just been glad for a friend to talk to. Plus, Kyungsoo was a very attentive listener – one of his great qualities Junmyeon always appreciated.  
  
Kyungsoo didn’t seem to hang out anywhere close to the bar so Junmyeon decided to check out the dance floor. It was rather unlikely Kyungsoo would go dancing but anything could happen if he met the right guy.  
  
Junmyeon propped himself up on the railing, looking down at the dancing floor and trying to spot the familiar face in the crowd. All his efforts were to no avail though, so he just turned around, quite disappointed and ready for another drink.  
  
That was the moment he spotted a familiar face – not the one he was looking for but one he definitely did not expect. Giving it more thought, he had met the man four days before so it was possible they had met there in the past and just hadn’t noticed each other. But Junmyeon had a feeling he would have noticed Baekhyun for sure if they had crossed paths.  
  
The young man looked immensely good – he was dressed simply, in light blue ripped jeans and a casual white dress shirt tucked into the jeans. It looked great on him and emphasized his superb proportions Junmyeon hadn’t had a chance to notice before. His hair was styled just a bit, bangs out of his face – it made him appear much more mature. Yes, it was another confirmation he had the right to be confident about his looks.  
  
Baekhyun was animatedly talking at a table with somebody Junmyeon couldn’t see. He had to tilt a bit to the side to get a decent view. And when he did, he felt the familiar butterflies in his stomach.  
  
He was immediately strongly drawn to the table, like a magnet. As he moved towards it, all he could concentrate on was the one Baekhyun was talking to – Jongdae.  
  
The bags under Jongdae’s eyes were mostly gone and his pupils were glistening again. He was looking so hot it should have been forbidden to look at for people with weak heart. He had his bangs down, soft dark brown hair shining a bit under the club lights. A dark olive green v-neck was tight enough to hint at his well-defined chest. And... were those dark skinny jeans? Junmyeon was so ready to find out if Jongdae hadn’t been bluffing about his ass looking even more amazing in them. He was already pretty sure he hadn’t but it didn’t hurt to confirm, right?  
  
“Hi.”  
  
The two friends halted their conversation and looked up to see who decided to disturb them. It was funny to observe their different reactions. Jongdae came across completely speechless and taken aback. Baekhyun, on the other hand, gave the impression of being greatly excited right away as he pulled Junmyeon down to the empty seat at their table.  
  
“Junmyeon, what a nice surprise! It’s really great to bump into you here. And may I say that you look quite dashing in the casual clothes.”  
  
The businessman glanced down at his simple navy shirt and grey slim pants. “Thanks.”  
  
“Shouldn’t it be Junmyeon-hyung for you though?” Jongdae furrowed his eyebrows. “It’s called manners, Baekhyun, if you haven’t heard of them.”  
  
“Someone might have mentioned them to me at one point or another but I guess I was too busy to pay attention,” Baekhyun responded jokingly.  
  
“It’s okay, Jongdae,” Junmyeon opined. “Baekhyun doesn’t seem like the type to use honorifics and I don’t mind. After all, I’m only a year older.”  
  
“See, Jongdae? He’s fine with it. Anyway, Junmyeon, your timing is great. I’ve been just trying to explain to Jongdae the importance and merits of rebound sex but he still doesn’t get it.”  
  
“I don’t agree with the idea but Baekhyun doesn’t seem to take the hint.”  
  
Baekhyun shook his head and squeezed his friend’s shoulder. “Look, Jongdae, your heart has been broken, we get it. It’s fine to cry for three days straight, really. But now it’s time to move on. So I’m going to tell you what exactly you are going to do... you are going to call or text the best sex of your life and let him fuck your brains out, okay?”  
  
“The best sex of my life was Yixing.”  
  
A pause. Silence. Just loud music and people chatting in the background.  
  
“I should have known. Hands of a musician and moves of a dancer, a sinful combination indeed,” Baekhyun clicked his tongue and heaved a sigh. “Good luck, Junmyeon.”  
  
“Thanks,” Junmyeon replied absent-mindedly. He stiffened after the few seconds it had taken him to realize the meaning of those words. “Wait... what?”  
  
“Don’t pay attention to him,” Jongdae recommended quickly.  
  
It was too late. All of Junmyeon’s attention was on Baekhyun’s words. Their meaning was quite clear but... was he that sure Jongdae and Junmyeon were going to end up together? The way he said that, so casually, indicated it was the case. But how could he be so sure? It didn’t help that Baekhyun seemed too pleased with himself for messing with the businessman’s head.  
  
Junmyeon concluded, after few seconds, he was overthinking it.  
  
“Okay, fellas, I’m going to leave you two here and go talk to that tall, hot guy who’s been staring at me for past five minutes, and introduce myself. See you later and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”  
  
Baekhyun winked at the two men as he was leaving. There was a satisfied spring in his step. He definitely didn’t seem to mind that the atmosphere he left behind was rather awkward.  
  
Junmyeon had been dreaming about meeting Jongdae somewhere other than at his job for a long time. But it had gone completely different in his head than it turned out in real life – there was no Baekhyun with his remarks and suggestive winks, no awkwardness and nervousness.  
  
“Baekhyun often talks without thinking so don’t mind him. He actually dragged me out today, claiming that I owe him for covering my shift. And he has this idea that all my problems will magically disappear if I have sex with a hot stranger.”  
  
It was apparent Jongdae was actually thankful to Baekhyun for trying to cheer him up, regardless of his methods. Having friends, who you can count on, by your side while going through a break-up was quite essential.  
  
Junmyeon could imagine Baekhyun going to Jongdae’s apartment with extra warm blankets and expensive ice cream, wiping off his tears, listening to all the heartbroken sputtering and gabbling – he was definitely a good friend like that. And it was understandable that he wanted to try something different after few days to get his friend to smile and be happy again.  
  
“But it must be nice to have a friend who will be there, holding your hand and trying to fill your life with happiness again.”  
  
Jongdae smiled slightly while nodding. “Yeah, I’m really lucky, he’s been great.” He glanced at his friend who was apparently having a great time with the tall guy. “By the way, did something happen? You seem like you could use a friend yourself.”  
  
_Bartenders were truly great at reading people_ , Junmyeon figured. Something had happened in his life indeed but he was prepared he would tell the younger man on Wednesday. Telling him at that moment felt strangely premature. But he came to a conclusion that it was better to get it over with.  
  
“Something actually did happen. I came out to my parents today. At lunch.”  
  
There was this one thing Junmyeon was afraid of – that Jongdae would think that he did it because of him. Because he was single again. Junmyeon would not hold it against him, the timing was rather suspicious.  
  
Although the thought of coming out might have been induced by Jongdae, Junmyeon did not do it for him – he did not do it to get rid of the thing that could potentially stand in the way of them getting together. Junmyeon did it for himself.  
  
“Junmyeon, I... I’m really proud of you.” There was a genuine elation in Jongdae’s eyes and voice that made it hard not to hug him right then and there. “How did it go?”  
  
“Quite well, I guess. My mother cried the whole time and kept repeating that she would never have grandchildren. My father asked me if I had seen a doctor about it... I tried to explain it does not work that way but he didn’t seem to be convinced. I suppose he will try to send me to an appointment with some psychiatrist. But he didn’t yell, he was rather systematic about it. And they didn’t disown me or anything so I guess that’s good.”  
  
The truth was Junmyeon had been terrified to come out to his parents – he had expected the worst and prepared for it. Their actual reaction made him feel relieved, regardless of how absurd it might have sounded.  
  
“I’m sorry to hear those things. It might take some time for them to come to terms will all of it but I believe it will all be good eventually. And the most important thing – you can finally be yourself, no need to hide one of your parts from them anymore. Doesn’t it feel amazing?”  
  
Junmyeon realized he hadn’t had the time to actually appreciate the newly obtained freedom. “It does. It feels freaking amazing,” he beamed.  
  
There was undeniable endearment in Jongdae’s expression. “I’m so happy for you. You took a huge step today, the hardest one in my opinion. But, if you don’t mind me asking, do you plan on telling more people?”  
  
“I do. I want to tell some of my friends... I don’t really have that many, just some I keep in touch with from college and some I work with. And the rest of the co-workers... well, it’s very precarious to be honest. I won’t let them set me up with women anymore, that’s for sure. And if they pry too much I might tell them. I will have to think about it more.”  
  
All of a sudden, Junmyeon’s head fell on a shoulder he was unfamiliar with as Jongdae embraced him... it was a tight yet gentle embrace. Exciting yet soothing. It was everything Junmyeon needed and wanted at that moment. He wished for it to never end – he wanted to feel the warmth of Jongdae’s body on his forever.  
  
The forever lasted for few seconds. Jongdae pulled away but left his hands on the elder’s shoulders, looking straight into his eyes.  
  
“It’s beautiful. It’s really beautiful to see you break free from the closet of yours.”  
  
It was supposed to be a touching moment – yet all Junmyeon could think about was kissing Jongdae senseless. Why did his lips have to look so inviting?  
  
“I’m going to a restroom now and then I’m getting us drinks, okay? I’ll be right back.”  
  
Junmyeon watched as the younger man was making his way to the restroom – and yes, he had to acknowledge that his ass looked damn amazing in skinny jeans. Some quite inappropriate (and extremely arousing) fantasies flashed through his mind.  
  
_Wait_ , did he still have to consider them inappropriate? Or did they become more or less appropriate since Jongdae was single? He liked the second option a lot more.  
  
“So, how is it going?”  
  
The voice startled Junmyeon. He was too much into his _inappropriate or appropriate_ pondering that he didn’t notice Baekhyun plopping into the chair beside him.  
  
“Quite good, thank you for asking. What about you? How’s it going with the tall guy?” he said after regaining some composure.  
  
“Great. Well, it turned out he was actually staring at Jongdae... but don’t tell him that, his confidence will go through the roof and he’ll be insufferable. Anyway, the tall guy kind of lost interested in him since I told him Jongdae was straight and just hanging out with his gay friends.”  
  
“Baekhyun!”  
  
“What? You should be thanking me, you know! What if the hot tall guy decided to hit on Jongdae... would you be okay with that? I get that you probably don’t want to come on too strong too soon after the break-up but think about it like this – Jongdae is a good-looking guy. As you can see, there’s quite a demand for his attention... so what if, as you’ll be patiently waiting for the right timing, some other guy decides to ask him out and Jongdae says yes? Won’t you regret it?”  
  
There was irritation present in Baekhyun’s tone. He probably could not understand why all the waiting was necessary. However, he was the type to go headfirst into everything.  
  
Junmyeon, on the other hand, was the cautious type. Especially that time around – he did not want to screw things up. And he was so afraid he would it made him shiver.  
  
“Don’t you think I know all that? But the last thing I want to do is to make him feel uncomfortable... or even drive him away.”  
  
It seemed like Baekhyun tried really hard not to roll his eyes at that. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you... but if you don’t take any risks how do you expect everything will turn out the way you want? That somehow a magical, safe opportunity will appear and it will all be perfect? That’s not how life works... you’ve been around, you should know that. So, do you want me to tell you what I would do if I were you?”  
  
“Wouldn’t you tell me even if I said no?”  
  
“Listen carefully,” Baekhyun completely ignored his remark. “I would just charm my way into his pants tonight. It’s too soon to directly ask him out on a date, that’s for sure. You might think that it’s stupid because you want more that just sex. But you’re missing something – Jongdae already likes you. You’re not too blind to see that, right? So if you sleep together he will feel bad for using you just for sex and he will try to make it up for you... and if you’re lucky and good in bed, he might even realize the real depth of his feelings for you too. Brilliant, right?”  
  
Junmyeon waited for a bit – he waited for the _I’m joking_ follow-up. It did not come. “So you’re telling me to sleep with him to guilt him into going out with me?”  
  
“I... wait, it didn’t sound so mean the way I said it.”  
  
“But it is kind of mean, Baekhyun. Look, I appreciate the effort... or whatever that was... but I don’t want to be his rebound one-night stand.”  
  
Baekhyun smiled at the elder and patted his head. “You like him a lot, don’t you?”  
  
“I do,” Junmyeon breathed out.  
  
“Fine, so do it your way. But remember two things, okay? First, he already likes you. And second, taking a risk sometimes pays off big time.”  
  
When the younger had said it for the first time, Junmyeon hadn’t really paid attention to it. But at that moment he heard it loud and clear. Jongdae liked him? Yes, he probably liked him as a friend to some extent, there was no reason to have doubts about it – it was not however _the like_ Junmyeon was hoping to be worthy of one day.  
  
“I’ll remember it, thanks. Now go back to your tall, hot guy... what’s his name anyway?”  
  
“It’s... I haven’t asked yet,” Baekhyun giggled sheepishly.  
  
“So go ask and have fun.”  
  
Junmyeon sent him off with a smile. He was really glad they had talked about all that. It was a necessary reminder of where the line, he didn’t want to cross, was. Jongdae’s sensual lips, top-class behind and sparkling eyes hadn’t been making it easy for him to remember that.  
  
Jongdae returned to their table after a minute or so. He handed the elder a drink and raised his own, elation still glimmering in his eyes.  
  
“To you being so brave today.”  
  
They smiled at each other, both taking a gulp of a drink. A relaxed silence surrounded them for a moment after that, not counting the loud EDM blasting out of the club’s speakers.  
  
“You checked my ass out when I went away before, right?”  
  
“I did and you were right – it’s another level of amazing.”  
  
~  
  
They ended up sharing a cab home at three in the morning. There were still people in the club, enjoying their night to the fullest, but both of them concurred that they were drained. Baekhyun was already gone, leaving happily with the handsome tall guy an hour before while sending them triumphant thumbs up and some lewd gestures.  
  
Junmyeon actually had to keep persuading the younger man for quite some time that he didn’t mind the slight detour before Jongdae finally yielded. Well, _slight detour_ might have been an understatement but Junmyeon couldn’t care less. He would have wanted to share a cab even if Jongdae had lived on the other side of the city – and that would have been even better because they would have got to spend more time together. Yes, he still didn’t have enough of Jongdae – of his laugh, witty remarks and all the charm he emanated.  
  
The leather backseats were rather cold, leaving Junmyeon longing for warmth. For particular human warmth he had felt for the first time earlier that night. He glanced at the young bartender whose chiselled features were accentuated by street lights flashing through the car windows – he was seated on the other side of the cab, completely still and serene.  
  
_And breathtakingly beautiful_.  
  
“I’m really glad we met tonight, it was fun. See you on Wednesday,” Jongdae said his goodbyes after handing the elder his share of the cab fare.  
  
His blinding smile left Junmyeon speechless so he just nodded and waved. It was remarkable, really – nobody had ever had such effect on him. He had been attracted to many people, come to like few of them as well but nobody had ever left him feeling so restless. Yet, Jongdae managed to excite all of his senses, overwhelm him, fill up his entire mind, make his head spin – and Junmyeon did not mind such restlessness at all. On the contrary, he revelled in it.  
  
“I’ll be getting off as well,” he found himself saying and paying the rest of the fare.  
  
_Taking a risk sometimes pays off big time._ Baekhyun’s words resonated in his head.  
  
No plan on his mind, just listening to screaming instincts – they had been chanting _go get him_ ceaselessly so it became impossible to ignore them. He sprinted out of the cab, slamming the door shut behind him, not caring about the intensity of his swing.  
  
“Jongdae, wait!” a pleading cry left his throat.  
  
Jongdae, who was in the middle of unlocking the door to his apartment building, turned around, astonishment visible in his expression. He took a few steps towards the elder, yet seemed rather cautious, protective of himself almost – as if he wanted to make it clear that he would listen to everything but was not quite ready for rash displays of affection.  
  
Fortunately for him, Junmyeon would have never done anything like that. Did he want to? Yes. But it was not worth it if it meant he would scare away the man he was in love with – or make him uncomfortable by doing something he wasn’t ready for.  
  
“Would you go on a date with me?”  
  
Junmyeon scrutinized face of the man in front of him – searching for something, any indication that there was no need to continue, that it was better to just stop right then and there because there was no hope for it to work out. To his relief, he found no such thing. So he opted to carry on.  
  
“And I don’t mean right now or this week or the next or the week after that... all I want to say by that is that I would be honoured if you went on a date with me when you’re ready. Because I know this is a difficult time for you... and I don’t want to push you into anything when it’s still too soon.”  
  
He tried not to sound too rash, not to burble. It was rather distressing – he hadn’t thought it through at all. Under ordinary circumstances, he would have prepared a flawless speech at least a week beforehand. It would have been elaborate, with the right intonation and emphasizing.  
  
Yet there he was – completely unprepared, with so many things on his mind it drove him crazy.  
  
“I wanted to wait more to ask you out... I was thinking at least a month would be an appropriate time. And then it hit me – what if I lose my one chance with you by being cautious and appropriate?” he bit his lip because the thought of wasting his chances that way always made his chest clench. “But even after that, I told myself not to panic and rush into things. That if it was meant to be, it wouldn’t mind. And then I saw you get out of the cab and I had to go after you... I just... I had to take a chance, which is something I never do. I had to because it’s you.”  
  
All the cautiousness and protectiveness, Junmyeon had felt emanating from Jongdae before, was gone. Instead of that, there was a delicate tenderness in his dazzling eyes.  
  
“So let me rephrase my question. Once you tell me or hint that you feel ready – would you go on a date with me?”  
  
The fraction of a second between the question and the answer was pure torment.  
  
“Yes, I would.”  
  
Junmyeon started beaming like those were the best three words he had ever heard in his whole life. Which might have been true. But he probably overdid it and started looking creepy because Jongdae began to snicker, clearly very amused.  
  
The snicker however turned into a laugh, which was beautifully light and melodic. One of the most extraordinary sounds in the world if you asked Junmyeon.  
  
“Don’t laugh at me, I’m just really happy,” the elder pouted.  
  
It looked so adorable Jongdae couldn’t resist and pinched his cheeks. He kept wondering though how an almost thirty-year-old could look so childlike and loveable while pouting. “I can see that. And just so you know... I’m really happy as well.”  
  
The distance between them would have been so easy to close. Junmyeon imagined curling his hand around Jongdae’s neck, feeling the short hair on its back on his fingertips, and then slowly leaning in while closing his eyes. Their lips would softly touch, creating a beautiful tender kiss which would then turn into something more fervent in mere seconds. And Junmyeon would treasure and revel in each and every moan that would leave Jongdae’s mouth, pressing closer against him to arouse him more and more and more...  
  
Imagination was a dangerous tool, Junmyeon was well aware of that. As much as he desperately wanted to, he couldn’t turn those fantasies into reality. He was not sure however, how longer he could be patient like that – despite of telling Jongdae he wouldn’t rush him.  
  
“I should get going, it’s getting late. But before I go... could we exchange numbers?”  
  
The younger man handed him his phone with a bright smile instead of answering and took his after the other had rummaged through his pockets and finally found it. It was amazing how such simple thing as exchanging numbers could feel so exciting.  
  
“Thank you. So... see you on Wednesday?” Junmyeon said after taking his phone back.  
  
“Yes, see you on Wednesday. And be careful on your way home.”  
  
They parted ways – Jongdae disappearing into his apartment building and Junmyeon approaching the road to hail a new cab.  
  
Fortunately, it didn’t take a long time for the elder to get in one, dictating his address straight away while relaxing into a seat. Those past several hours had been remarkably eventful so he just felt like going home and sleeping till afternoon. Yet, he had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep anyway as his heart still didn’t seem to be able to slow its palpitation.  
  
It was all Jongdae’s fault. And Junmyeon was prepared to get compensation for it... when the right time came.  
  
\--------------------------------------------------  
  
It took Jongdae almost a month and two weeks to text Junmyeon.  
  
The elder still visited the bar every Wednesday, chatting with the other while drinking his favourite whisky with the perfect amount of ice cubes. None of them mentioned anything about what had happened between them. But there were silences and meaningful glances that indicated the agreement was still valid.  
  
Junmyeon arrived home at eight in the evening on Friday after a draining day at work. He loosened his tie, plopping down on the sofa, a briefcase long thrown away to the corner. So when he heard a chiming which told him he got a text, an annoyed grunt left his throat.  
  
Nevertheless, a stunned squeal (he would have been very embarrassed about if he hadn’t been alone) followed as he took a good look at the screen and saw who was texting him.  
  
**_Jongdae:_** _do you want to meet up for coffee?_  
**_Jongdae:_** _sorry it’s this late_  
  
That was it. A date.  
  
**_Me:_** _I would love to!_  
**_Me:_** _And it’s okay._  
**_Me:_** _Just text me the address._  
  
He tossed his phone on the sofa, springing up immediately and running off to the bedroom. All the clothes he was wearing, except for underwear, ended up scattered on the floor as he started to rummage through the closet. He settled on a pair of light washed jeans and a simple creamy white sweater with white shirt underneath – it was casual and perfect for a coffee shop date. Plus, his brown woollen overcoat would go well with it. He knew he looked damn good in that overcoat.  
  
When he skidded to a halt next to his sofa, there was already a message with the address. He entered it to a navigation since he had decided he would drive there. It was much faster and simpler than getting a cab. All that was left to do then, was to slip a wallet to the back pocket of his jeans, put on his damn amazing overcoat and sneakers – and he was ready to go.  
  
Junmyeon had a car but didn’t use it often. Mostly just to visit his parents for Saturday lunch – and yes, those lunches still took place even after he had come out. Even his older brother had joined them about three weeks before, already informed by their mother. He hadn’t said anything, only sent warm smiles Junmyeon’s way and squeezed his shoulder in an encouraging manner before they had parted to go to their cars. It was his silent way of saying he was okay with it.  
  
The engine ignited and his car left the underground garage. And as the businessman drove through streets, he pondered that Jongdae’s timing was rather remarkable considering what had happened in his office that day.  
  
~  
  
_Junmyeon’s company decided on another important merger – which meant there was a business lawyer needed. It didn’t even occur to him that it could be someone he was acquainted with. He had a lot on his plate to worry about stuff like that._  
  
_Only when he spotted a familiar tall figure, sticking-out ears and blinding smile, he realized he should have seen it coming._  
  
_“Guys, I don’t understand how you get any work done around here with this kind of receptionist – she’s such a fox.”_  
  
_A typical cover-up – talking about women, trying to look as straight as possible. Junmyeon could understand that kind behaviour – even though he was never able to do such thing. But it had more to do with his manners than with his sexuality. He blocked out the rest of that lewd conversation because it was just sad._  
  
_The thing about cover-ups and pretence though was that they weren’t going to last forever. A typical example was Chanyeol stealing glances at the head of accounting when the latter dropped off some of the documents needed for their upcoming merger. The tall man tried to be very subtle and it would have worked on anybody else, but Junmyeon watched him too attentively – plus, he knew about his sexual orientation. Chanyeol was an open book for him._  
  
_“Chanyeol-ssi, hello. We worked together on that previous merger. Nice to see you again,” Junmyeon came up to him when he was the only one near the coffee machine in their office._  
  
_“Hello! Junmyeon-ssi, right? Nice to see you too. I hope this merger will be as successful as the previous one – but I have no doubts it will be the case, it’s always a pleasure to work with your company, you guys know your stuff well.”_  
  
_They shook hands in a friendly way._  
  
_“Thank you. It’s a pleasure to work with you as well; you’re amazing at your job.”_  
  
_Junmyeon knew Chanyeol was not a bad guy. He might have broken Jongdae’s heart but it was far from cruel or intentional (Jongdae himself had said it two weeks before and expressed that he had already forgiven him). The man was afraid and in a very unenviable situation – yes, there were things he could have handled differently, that’s for sure, but it would have been unfair to presume he hadn’t learnt from his past mistakes. Of course, all that did not excuse what he had done to Jongdae. Yet, it didn’t change anything for Junmyeon about wanting to help him._  
  
_“You know Kim Jongdae, right?”_  
  
_Chanyeol looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He took a frightened, rushed scan of their surroundings – finally starting to breathe as he realized there was nobody that could have heard those words. As if the mere mention of Kim Jongdae would have revealed his sexuality._  
  
_“I... I do. And how do_ you _know Jongdae?”_  
  
_“I go to his bar... and I guess you could say we are good friends.”_  
  
_“I see.”_  
  
_There was an undeniable remorse in Chanyeol’s voice and expression. It was probably the same remorse that stopped him from going to Jongdae’s bar even though he had been a regular there for many years._  
  
_“So... don’t panic again but I’ve caught you staring at our head of accounting. And I wanted to tell you that I could talk to him for you if you were interested. Suggest he could give you his number or you could talk over coffee, whatever you want.”_  
  
_Chanyeol blinked at the elder in disbelief. “And he wouldn’t mind?”_  
  
_“Me trying to set him up? I don’t think so. And you being a guy? Definitely not.”_  
  
_Junmyeon smirked as the taller man started to look like he had won lottery or something. He could understand that feeling – finding out a guy you were attracted to was gay felt in fact like hitting the lotto._  
  
_“Okay, could you just tell him then that I’m... ehm, you know... so when I talk to him it would be clear what my intentions might be?”_  
  
_“Sure.”_  
  
_“Thanks, Junmyeon-hyung! I owe you big time!”_  
  
_And that was how Junmyeon found out that Chanyeol was a hugger. He squashed him in a tight embrace which was probably meant as a representation of his gratitude – but it only left Junmyeon struggling for air._  
  
_“N-No problem,” he managed to utter between hasty intakes of breath._  
  
_Chanyeol gave the impression of being completely ecstatic – as a child whose mother bought him a big, sugary lollipop in the store after pleading for ten minutes. It was rather endearing._  
  
_They both had to work so couldn’t talk much anymore. But before they parted ways, the familiar expression full of remorse had reappeared on the lawyer’s face._  
  
_“Could you say hi to Jongdae for me, please?”_  
  
_It only took Junmyeon’s simple agreement for him to look like a happy child again._  
  
~  
  
Junmyeon parked his car on the street, elation at its peak. It was all happening quite fast so the nervousness hadn’t hit him until he gripped a door handle of the coffee shop. That was going to be his first date with Jongdae – something he had dreamt about for more than six months. It was only natural his hands turned clammy and heart started beating faster.  
  
It wasn’t hard to spot the younger sitting in a booth, already with a mug in front of him. The oversized sweatshirt made him look tiny and just so precious Junmyeon had to fight the urge to give him a hug right away.  
  
“Hi!” Jongdae beamed the minute he noticed the elder.  
  
_How could he be so cute?_ “Hi, Jongdae.”  
  
Junmyeon took off his overcoat and hung it on a coat-stand close to them, hoping the piece of clothing did its job at making him look irresistibly hot. “I see you’ve already ordered. I’m going to get something myself... do you want anything else?”  
  
Jongdae contemplated for a moment, pursing lips a bit in an adorable manner. “A carrot cake, please,” his eyes twinkled.  
  
There was no doubt that if he had asked for the world Junmyeon would have done everything he could to get it for him. His excited expression was that powerful.  
  
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”  
  
The businessman approached the counter slowly, still not sure what to get. It was rather late so getting coffee could mean having problems falling asleep – but then an important question emerged on his mind – what if he didn't have to worry about falling asleep because _a (getting) lucky occurrence_ could take place? He flushed immediately.  
  
_No, no, no, Kim Junmyeon, don’t get ahead of yourself_ , he ordered himself – yet still got an espresso and a cinnamon scone.  
  
“Thank you, you’re such a gentleman,” Jongdae took the carrot cake from him when the elder returned to their table.  
  
The response he got was a sheepishly mumbled _it’s nothing really_ , since Junmyeon’s mind was still quite occupied with the thought of what their date could turn into. And it didn’t really help when the younger took a generous bite of the carrot cake, some icing left on the lips – as he licked it off swiftly, Junmyeon couldn’t help but stare.  
  
A clearly amused chuckle coming from Jongdae was a sign of him undoubtedly noticing the painfully obvious gawking.  
  
“Again, I’m sorry for dragging you out so late,” he apparently decided not to comment on it and changed the subject. “I have a day off but I woke up at like three in the afternoon because I had a Thursday shift with Baekhyun. This up and coming musician was performing in the bar so it was quite packed and we needed all the help we could get.”  
  
“It’s okay, really,” the elder shook his head and took a sip of coffee. “I just came home when you texted me. And to be honest, it’s nice to go out on Friday like this. Definitely better than sitting at home and staring at the ceiling.”  
  
Jongdae slightly nodded, smiling contentedly. “I’m glad to hear that.” His eyes turned into charming crescents. “So how was your day? Apart from pretty long since you got home at eight.”  
  
“It was fine I guess,” Junmyeon ran his thumb across the brim of a cup. “There’s a lot of work since we are preparing for this merger. I’m not going to bore you with details but it’s pretty big and important.” A slight pause. “And Park Chanyeol will be working with us on it. He came to the office today.”  
  
The other man’s eyes widened a bit when the familiar name was mentioned. There was no resentment in them though, just genuine surprise. “I see,” he breathed out. “Well, at least I know he wasn’t exaggerating when he said he was this hotshot in business law.”  
  
“He definitely wasn’t,” Junmyeon chuckled. “Anyway, we talked for a bit... and I hope you won’t mind that I mentioned you in front of him.”  
  
“Oh, not at all,” was the immediate reaction – nothing strained about it.  
  
The businessman slightly smiled in relief. “He told me to say hi to you for him.”  
  
He knew those two hadn’t been in touch for few years. When he saw Chanyeol, he realized how much the man regretted that. And how thankful he was for a chance to reach out again.  
  
“Tell him I said hi as well when you see him,” Jongdae said in quiet voice. Those words sounded hesitant, however it was clear he wasn’t saying that just as courtesy – he wanted to but it was not that easy for him yet, some wounds still fresh in his memory.  
  
“I will,” the elder assured him. “Actually, I caught him stealing glances at Kyungsoo and I decided to help him. Kyungsoo looked quite pleasantly surprised when I told him Chanyeol was gay so I guess that it could work out for them.”  
  
There was a look of bewilderment on Jongdae for few moments – it was not every day someone set up his ex-boyfriend (with whom he still had occasional good time) with an ex-boyfriend of a person he was in love with. No, that was really not an ordinary occurrence.  
  
However, the look turned into a one of affection. The man stretched out his hand across the table, placing it on top of Junmyeon’s. He then squeezed it gently, warm smile on his lips.  
  
“You’re such a nice guy, Kim Junmyeon.”  
  
An enchanting warmth from the light touch spread out to Junmyeon’s whole body. It left him wondering if he had ever felt such contentment before. He began to stroke the back of the younger’s hand with his thumb but after a little while turned his palm from facing downwards to facing upwards and intertwined their fingers.  
  
“I’m not _that_ nice.”  
  
“Yes, you are.” Jongdae was looking at their hands interwoven together. “You were so chivalrous to me, so considerate and patient. You could have kissed me the night we met at the club when we were standing in front of my apartment. I would have taken you home – and I’m sure you knew that even though I tried to be as guarded as I could. But you didn’t do it. You didn’t take advantage of me feeling lonely or of me being attracted to you. Instead of that you made me feel safe and treasured and I was very grateful for that.”  
  
He sounded so moved, his voice deep and soft. Junmyeon’s hand around his tenderly tightened like he was trying to say that he would make Jongdae feel safe and treasured all the time if he let him.  
  
“I was afraid as well, you know? That you would get tired of waiting for me to feel ready... Baekhyun kept pestering me that a guy like you won’t stay single forever just because of me. But I tried to keep those thoughts out of my head. Because when I agreed to go on a date with you – I agreed to go to one when I was ready. I felt like it would make all your efforts and consideration vain if I forced myself into it.”  
  
There were so many things on Junmyeon’s mind. The most obsessive of them being _how the hell did he deserve to be that lucky in his life_. It seemed so unbelievable to him – Jongdae being afraid, Jongdae worrying about their possible future together, and Jongdae not wanting to lose his chance with him. He wanted to kiss it all away because Jongdae didn’t have to be worried at all.  
  
Junmyeon would wait for him no matter the time. For the man he could imagine his future with, the man he was in love with. Junmyeon would wait for his own happiness as long as he needed to, without faltering.  
  
“So... are you genuinely ready now? Are you sure?”  
  
He had to ask even though he could feel it emanating from Jongdae since he had stepped into the coffee shop.  
  
“Junmyeon, I’ve been sure all this time. And I think you’ve figured out the ready part yourself, haven’t you?”  
  
~  
  
“So, tell me one thing,” Jongdae licked his lips sensually as he hooked fingers to belt loops of Junmyeon’s jeans, pulling the elder closer to himself. They were in his cosy apartment, panting for air after minutes of passionate kissing. “Have you fooled around with anyone new? Or will I get to be the magnificent thirtieth?” Junmyeon had to smirk at the question.  
  
“You’ll get to be my thirtieth... and hopefully the last.”  
  
He had to listen to Jongdae’s whining about how cheesy that sounded but it was totally worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> × Thank you so much if you read all of this – seriously, I’m so grateful I could cry!  
> × There are actually all EXO members included in the fic, although it’s implicit – Minseok was Jongdae’s first and Jongin was Junmyeon’s nineteenth. And I think you could spot Sehun.  
> × Extra cookie points for anyone who can guess who’s the Chinese dancer Yixing fell in love with!  
> × Comments are, of course, very appreciated. And thank you again for reading this!  
> × And if you are interested, you can read a spin-off to this story [Gameplay](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11382255)


End file.
